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Lesson 8

Strangers who become “friends” online

How some scammers spend weeks building trust, and the one rule that protects you.

About 3 minutes

An older Nigerian man in a green kaftan and fila, explaining with an open hand

Kindness can be a trick

Some scammers spend weeks or months being kind. They send sweet messages every morning. They pray with you. They call you “dear” or “sister”.

They may say they are a soldier abroad, a doctor, an engineer on an oil rig, or a church member in another city.

Once you trust them, the requests for money begin.

How the story usually goes

  1. They contact you on Facebook, WhatsApp or a dating app, often “by mistake”.
  2. They become a close friend, or say they love you, very quickly.
  3. They always have a reason why they cannot meet or video call.
  4. A problem appears: a hospital bill, a customs fee for a gift, a frozen bank account.
  5. They ask you to send money, “just this once”. Then they ask again.
Daniel online
Daniel:

Good morning my dear. Did you sleep well? I prayed for you last night.

7:02 am
You:

Good morning Daniel. I did, thank you.

7:10 am
Daniel:

My dear I have a small problem. Customs is holding the gift I sent you. They want ₦85,000. I will pay you back when I come home next month.

7:12 am
Weeks of sweet messages, then a “small problem” that needs money.

The rule

Never send money to someone you have not met in person.

However kind they are. However sad their story.

If you are unsure

Talk to a family member or friend you trust, and show them the messages. Scammers often say “keep our friendship private”. That is a warning sign.

If you have already sent money, it is not your fault. These scammers are very skilled. See what to do now.

Remember

  • Never send money to someone you have not met in person.
  • Someone who always has an excuse not to meet or video call may not be who they say.
  • If they ask you to keep the friendship secret, tell someone you trust.
Practise this Next lesson: What AI is and how scammers use it